I wanna rite today not beause i must but coz i want to relieve the pain witin me. Sadness engulfs me. Darkness takes its toll on me. I am feeling giddy. My eyes close n i fall to the floor with a "thud". I have never felt more peaceful, more relieved, more happy. All instances of my life flash right in front of me. One by one each monent, i silently let it pass me as they all come to life. Tainted me. Huanted me. Made this pain even worse.



I woke up in a place whr there was no one but me. I tried to speak but had lost my voice. I could see at a distance a very thin n fragile gal. She wasnt alone. There was a tall, broad shouldered guy standing in front of her. I could not see them clearly so i moved ahead. I recognised the faces but faintly. The boy looked through me. But the girl sensed my presence n turned around. She looked into my eyes. Her look penetrated deeper. Her eyes showed pain,dissappointment. I knew her. I knew her well. She was ME. I looked at him. Hoping he wud recognise me. He looked in my direction for only a second before he turned to the girl again. He held her by the shoulder. Shaking her roughly, "wht are u lookin at?tThere isnt anyone standing there". I realised, nothing had changed.



Silently, the girl turned away. She heard him.Heard him yelling,shouting. She remaned unaffected. Almost numb. Her eyes were filled with tears. I could see how each word made her wounds grow deeper. He was agry. I am sure she must have said something trigger it off. She must have dared to disagree. Over the years i had realised that to succmb to his will was the easier n less painful way. I hoped she would not rebel o retaliate. She didnt. She only silently cried.



He broke down. He had had enough. He held her and pulled her close to her. He hugged her tight afraid that his actions may result in loosig her. O that if he didnt hold her tight enough she ll dissappear. He closed his eyes and fought his tears away. She succumbed once again. She returned his hug. He moved away and gently kissed her lips. She didnt move away. She allowed him to. She still loved him. I stood there. Silently absorbing all that was goin on. She didnt once stand up for herself. What was she afraid of?



They both dissappeared,while i was once again left to my lonliness.Who was that girl i wondered. She looked jus like me,but then when did i become this way. I was always fearless. Never succumbed to another. O did I? My head got heavier. The pain was only getting worse.



Suddenly i felt a hand on my waist. It was him, i could neva forget that touch. He twirled me. Pulled me close to him so that i could feel his body press against mine. He lay a passionate kiss on my lips. We parted what felt like after an hour. He whispered in my ears still holding me close,"I am sorry ma. Please dont leave me. I love you." He was crying. pulling me closer he sobbed. I gave in. I held him close. Kissed him. Assured him i wasnt goin anyway. We both stood there in the dark. When i felt the throbbing pain again. My head got heavy, my limbs wea. I fell to the floor with a "thud".



When i woke up, he was right there next to me. My hand were entwined with his.He looked at me with concerned eyes. He smiled at me. He was the only one there. I looked around i was not in my room o in the dark room where i last saw myself. He leaned forward and kissed me.



What s it that i share with him.? My life is incomplete without him and yet i complain of his presence. Why do I seem to complicate what we have? Why do i picture him to be what he may not be? Why do i still pray for that nothing wud change? That he stilled remained the same.The one who cried for me. The one who was afraid to loose me. Who wud be every bit crazy and tell practicabilty to fuck off.



Why cant i realise that our love has reached another level. Where there is a silent agreement between the both of us that we Love one another. That we have the rest of our lives to show each other how much we love one another.